Kill Jill

(An excerpt about love and the emotional cycle of release vs restraint)

One half of me is completely grounded in responsibility, wisdom and discernment

The other half of me feels like a feral animal waiting to be released from a cage

I wish my needs were more silent

and my wants were more quiet

Cravings loud in my ear

screaming for relief

Wilting silently

waiting for the moment you come and lay your confessions at my feet

Fishing is fun when you need food and silence

As you age you’ll find its also useful when you want depth and need guidance

Humans can only go so deep into the ocean until you reach a certain point where the pressure will kill you
When you hold up a mirror we’d find the same restrictions live inside most of us as a collective

Why is it so hard to get to the core of your earth?

Where its the hottest and the most passionate?
How do you keep your words cold and your blood warm?

Teach me to be like you

How do I keep my volcano from erupting?

How do I stop the lava from surfacing?

Everything that burns inside of me is screaming for an escape

But you seem to conceal and not feel so easily

I wonder if you’ve ever felt butterflies in your stomach

Or choked on your words

Not from imposter syndrome and anxiety

But from love

I’m not naive

And I’m wise enough to know that the ones who hide themselves from the world once had their heart wide open

But now their needs are silent

And their wants are quiet

Rotting silently

Reacting lifelessly as I come and lay my confessions at your feet